The Stigma of Menstruation.

This is an explicit post. However, I have been struggling with this for the past 9 years and I have to voice it out. There were many days where it made me feel like “why am I even born a woman?” Some may agree to this and some may disagree but nevertheless, this is something I feel that I have to voice out. The thoughts have been lurking within me for years and it just irks me. Today, I just broke down in tears. I just needed to voice it out.

Question: WHY DO MOST BROWN PARENTS FREAK OUT AND MAKE IT A BIG ISSUE WHEN THEY SEE A MENSTRUAL PAD OR/AND GOES PERTURBATION MODE DURING THE MENSTRUATION MONTH?

I get it. It’s not a pleasant sight to see a pad just lying there but what if it was wrapped in a paper and plastic. How does it even affect humans or/and the environment? There is global warming, people throw rubbish everywhere, there are still water pollution and air pollution and there are oil leakages almost everywhere in the sea now. And of all things to be worried about in this world, why do they find this to freak out about? I don’t get it. Does it even affect mother nature?

We, Women, tend to forget too. We forget to throw the pad away and perhaps, take our time to throw it away [the reason why we wrap it in a paper and plastic]. Yet when that happens accidentally, they are quick to label it as dirty and omits bad vibes during that time of the month. It’s not on purpose. They make it seem like being a woman is a curse or we’re some kind of an omen every month.

I feel that this whole “oh it’s dirty”, “oh it’s not good for the house.”, “oh the blood is bad.”, “oh it brings bad luck if someone sees it.”, “Oh you can’t go into the prayer room to pray.” is utterly ridiculous. This whole concept in Hinduism wasn’t there in the first place. How did this come about? What happened during the days before pads were even made?

Question: IF I CAN’T GO INTO THE PRAYER ROOM OR TEMPLE? WASN’T HE THE ONE THAT MADE ME THIS WAY? BUT I’M TOO DIRTY DURING MENSTRUATION TO GO IN TO PRAY?

We, Women, were born this way and we didn’t ask for it. Nobody can justify or argue this fact.

It’s natural for us to bleed and we are not dirty. I’m the type whom emphasises on hygiene and cleanliness but i strongly don’t support the fact that we, women, are treated like we have some kind of disease. It’s not fair. This is normal or at least be taught that it is normal.

In this generation, parents should come to a understanding that we also have our days of exhaustion and tiredness, we tend to forget. It’s not on purpose. Of all people, mothers supposed to be understanding. If i had a daughter, i would certainly educate her on personal hygiene but neither am i going to treat her differently nor make her feel ashamed for who she is if she accidentally didn’t dispose her menstrual pad.

Stop being stuck at the stigma of women’s bleeding, their pads or menstruation as a whole. Support your daughters, sisters, friends, girlfriend. Support them instead of putting them down. Stop making them feel disgusted of themselves. We are already in so much of pain and emotion during the time of the month. We have the tendency to explode in emotions. Stop adding on to it.

So what if your sons or the neighbours see a pad? So what? Is this out of the norm? Why don’t you’ll teach your sons that this is normal? This is something sacred and it’s not dirty. It’s just really hurting for us of how brown parents just behave a certain way. You’ll shouldn’t make us feel embarrassed about.

Just because we were born as a Woman, we have to behave a certain way or do things a certain way. I am not advocating the fact that we should let the pads on the loose everywhere in public purposely but all i want to say is that stop reacting negatively.

Advertisements

Trust broken

Rebuilding trust when it’s been broken is not dependent only on the person who has broken it, or how many times they can prove they are honest. It depends on the person who has decided not to trust anymore. Though they may be totally justified in their decision not to trust, as long as they choose not to, the relationship has no hope of survival and should be ended. If or when they decide to trust again, there is hope reborn – Doe Zantamata

This quote is 100 percent true. Trust rebuilding is not the duty of one person but two person regardless whether it is family, friendship, relationship or anyone. It is easy to break someone’s trust within a split second but it is near to impossible to gain back the same trust.

However, it’s unfair for someone to break a trust and expect the other to trust them back the next moment. Whereas, it is also unfair for someone to keep pushing away the other for trying to gain back their trust. All i’m trying to say is; Trust is a two-ways street. It only works when two parties work together. If i am expecting it from you, you can expect 100% from me as well.

It is going to be tough to rebuild the trust because i’ve been bashed up mentally and emotionally by uncountable people in my life that the impact has been etched on till today. With that said, i also blame myself for putting myself in such positions for others to break my trust i have for them. If i trust you, it’s a big deal. If you break it, i can’t help you.

The fear (of getting hurt and stop believing your loved ones) just keeps building up to a point where i started protecting my loved ones from breaking my trust because i know that it is going to be so difficult for me to believe them again. I have self-awareness and i know myself very well. It was not easy for me then and it is not easy for me now. but i hope it would be easy for me in the future.

One person, just one person in this world to prove me wrong that not everyone is the same. That one person who knows I am emotional, sensitive and vulnerable and I hurt easily and that person will never hurt me or take me for granted. That person can be someone from my past, in the present right now or maybe in the future but all i want is to be proved wrong.

However, it is also my part to give chances but what if i gave in so much already? Thus, I am going to doubt, i am going to fear. But i know that one day, i’ll be able to overcome my trust issues. I will also make the effort but it is going to be difficult. It’s not going to be easy.